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How To Add Romance To A Relationship

Taking time to add romance to a relationship is vital to keeping it healthy and happy.  If a couple does not pay attention to injecting a little romance day in and day out, they may find themselves feeling stale, uninspired, and even be at risk for having an affair with someone who is throwing them a romantic glance from time to time.

You don’t need to go big with the romantic gestures.  Here are some small but significant acts that can add romance to a relationship and that will keep your relationship perking along quite nicely.

1. Fetch a beverage for your partner for no reason

Bring your partner coffee, a cold drink or an adult beverage “just because.”  Morning is a great time to serve them their favorite brew just how they like it.  Set the cup right on the nightstand so they can indulge without having to get their slippers and robe on.  Hot afternoon? Fix a tall glass of lemonade with plenty of ice and mint for them. Time for cocktails? Play bartender and mix up a special “love” beverage for your sweetheart.

2. Display affection

Make it a point to give your spouse a long, tight hug and a big kiss on the lips when you see each other each evening, before you start in on the dinner preparation.  It will connect you and remind you that this is your special person, and you are grateful for them.

3. Prioritize sex

Too tired for sex?  Do it anyway. The desire will make itself known if you just get started.  Couples need sex to feel connected and if you put this off too long, your connection will weaken.  Lovemaking doesn’t have to be long, but once you get going you might find yourselves stretching it out just because it is so nice!

4. Compliment your spouse

Make it a point to compliment your spouse at least once a day.  It doesn’t have to be a huge statement, just a “How nice you look in that outfit!” or “Yum, the dinner you are cooking smells delicious!” will do.  We sometimes forget that even in long-term relationships we all need to be recognized and validated.

See something that reminds you of your spouse?  Buy it and give it to them now. No reason to wait until their birthday…a surprise present says “This made me think of you and I knew it would give you pleasure.”  That sends a romantic message to them.

Compliment your spouse

5. Write your spouse a poem

Not a poet?  No worries! Even a tried-and-true “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue…” with an ending of your choice will strike a romantic note.

6. Make a handmade card for your partner

Make your partner a handmade card for her birthday/your anniversary/just because.  Yes, there are some wonderful cards available at the store, but think of how your partner will be touched when she sees the time, effort and creativity that you put in to make her a romantic card.  So grab some card stock and some colorful felt pens, and get your artistic juices flowing!

7. Do a romance-themed meal for your spouse

Breakfast?  How about heart-shaped pancakes with a side order of bacon you’ve used to write out OXOXOX?  Lunch or dinner? How about a “red” theme (for hearts, get it?) with a starter of tomato salad, a main dish of spaghetti with red sauce, and a red velvet cake for dessert?  Pink champagne is a must with this meal!

8. Go bike riding with your partner

Do you live where there are bike paths?  Try renting a tandem bike for the ultimate romantic sports experience.

9. Create a playlist of romantic songs

Create a playlist of your favorite romantic songs and burn a CD.  Call it “Music to Melt By”. Put it on, dim the lights, and watch what happens…

10. Weekend getaway

Park the kids with the grandparents or some friends and surprise your spouse with a truly romantic weekend.  Pick her up from work with her suitcase already packed and take off for that little inn you’ve always wanted to try.  Focus uniquely on each other for the entire weekend—no talk of work, or the children, or anything that takes your attention away from romancing your beloved.

Weekend getaway

11. Change it up in the bedroom

We aren’t talking about sex, here, but your bed linens.  Buy some really great high-thread-count sheets that just beg you to jump into bed and relax into their luxurious feel.  (You can pick these up for a good price at January White Sales.) Add some pretty throw pillows (fake fur is sexy!) and you’ve just created a romantic space for you and your spouse.

12. Shower together

The next time your partner is taking his morning shower, pop in there with him.  Shampoo his hair for him and include a nice gentle head massage. Your start to the day does not get more romantic than that!

13. Initiate sex

If you are usually not the one to initiate sex, go for it!  Your partner will be pleasantly surprised at this romantic (and libido-charging) gesture.

14. Flirt openly in public with your partner

Even if you are just doing the grocery shopping together.

Flirt openly in public with your partner

15. Take a ballroom dance class together

These classes are becoming very popular, as couples seek to bring themselves closer while they learn to tango or salsa.  It’s a terrific way to tune into your partner and a great excuse for touching!

16. No more sweatpants on the weekend

Yes, we know they are comfortable.  But they also can kill the romantic spark.  You don’t need to put on a fancy dress, but how about some nice, fitted yoga pants, or those workout tights that have some sheer parts to them, and a tight camisole.  You love that old college sweatshirt, but save it for when your spouse is traveling out of town, ok?

17. Indulge in 10-second romance

Live in an apartment with an elevator?  Use that alone time to make out, press yourselves together, and heat things up.  It’s only 10 seconds, but it’s 10 seconds of romance.


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