Have you ever gone on multiple dates with someone, expressed your emotions to each other, claimed that person was yours, yet you two never seem to want to become “official” or “exclusive”? Lately it has become the norm to be confused about the type of relationship you are in. Want proof? Ask the 90% of people who confuse co-dependency with true love. There are many people who are looking for a relationship, though the most important questions are, “What type and why?”
Some people look for flirtationships without realizing it. According to Love Panky, a flirtationship is known to be, “a relationship between two friends, where both people engage in flirtatious behavior without the promise of becoming anything more.” It is not common to determine the outcome of them, and it is also rare for neither of them to catch feelings; but at least one does. A lot of the time, that person is afraid and pushes their feelings aside. The following reasons are potentially why:
- Upbringing
Your upbringing plays a huge role in how you treat any relationship you are in, whether it is a friendship or serious relationship. This is based on how love was given to you and how you received it at a young age, which coincides with your love language.
Love language impacts the dynamic of your relationship with any partner. When you have full knowledge or even a decent amount of it on them, you will know how to properly show them love in a way that makes them know they are loved.
- Parents
Parents have a major impact on your relationships because they are the ones who teach you even if they are not a part of your life. Everything they do leaves an impact on you, whether that is negative or positive. For example, have you heard the term “daddy issues?” It is used to describe women who tend to gravitate towards older men or even men who do not treat them with proper respect. Sometimes women with “daddy issues” either do not feel like they have a father figure in their lives or the father figure in their lives do not treat them with enough respect.
A woman’s relationship with their father determines the standards they hold for anyone that comes into their life whether it is in a romantic or flirtatious way. Oftentimes, women that do not have a good relationship with their father tend to settle on people that do not meet their standards. This is because their fathers are not there to illustrate to them how their standards should be or how they should be treated.
This goes the same way for men. Men tend to go after women who remind them of their mothers or even sisters because they find comfort in how they were nurtured by them growing up.
- Peers
Who you surround yourself with influences your dating life whether you want to admit it or not. Ever see a romantic comedy? The plots are usually similar. There is always a love interest that works well midway through the movie, then there is a dramatic climactic moment that causes there to be a problem between the two lovers. Within that moment, there are usually peers of the main characters that guide them in the direction of what they think they should do or what they think is right for them. This is much like reality. You will always have a group of friends or even just one friend you surround yourself with that influences how you choose to view your dating partner versus how you should be viewing them. This also determines how your love life or flirtatious life will be. It’s a kickstart to the path you will end up taking.
Overall, how you live your life and who you accept into your life ultimately affects the relationships you have. Whether it is a relationship, flirtationship, or even a friendship – it’s essential to self-reflect at points throughout your life to keep yourself in check. It’s also important to let your partner in on how you are feeling so you both can decide on how to go about your relationship towards each other together.
Featured image by: Yuriy Bodanov
