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Rewriting What It Means To Be Single

Let’s face it, being single has its pros and cons. To make things more complicated, it is possible for single people to hold different perspectives from each other in regards to single life. Some will argue that relationships are overrated and are bound to end in heartbreak. Others see relationships as the best thing that could ever happen to them. Then there are those that long for a relationship but ultimately remain single. In this article, our main focus will be to refute the most popular expressions of the stigma against single life. We singletons have a say on what it means to be happy while we navigate the world on our own.

Being single comes with a series of false, or fabricated, stereotypes that generally stem around either being selfish or unlucky in love. Here is a  list of the top six false stereotypical  beliefs that revolve around being single. 

  1. Single people are miserable
  2. If you’re single, you only care about finding a partner
  3. Single people are isolated, lonely, and alone
  4. You’re self-centered
  5. You will grow old alone
  6. You will die alone 

Single people are not miserable. Sure, there are times where we all wish we had a partner to snuggle with but, outside of that a single person’s whole mentality and personality is not  based on the fact that they don’t have a significant other. More importantly, if a single person is actually feeling misery it is not because they don’t have a partner.  The misery most likely comes from something more internal but, that’s a whole other discussion on self-love. 

“If you’re single, you only care about finding a partner.” I had to round up my female and male friends for this one and the response was generally the same all around. The consensus was that while someone is single, no one is actively looking for anyone, but rather people are enjoying themselves. Enjoying yourself could be finding your center after a breakup, genuinely enjoying your own company, or just not placing much worry on things because you believe that if the timing is right then it’s meant to be.

“Single people are isolated and alone.” In today’s day and age, many are rewriting the rules of what it means to not be in a relationship, and being isolated or lonely is not part of it . In fact, there are a variety of positives that come from being single. When you don’t have an extra person to care for outside of yourself, you’re free to do whatever you want. There’s more time to spend with friends, family, and self. The way time is spent can range for everyone. Speaking personally, much of my time is dedicated to school, work, and maintaining my friendships. I enjoy the freedom I have as someone who’s not looking for a partner. Learning to enjoy the amount of time I spend with myself has been an experience too, greatly because I’ve become accustomed to who I am, which in turn leads to a sense of self assurance. 

“Single people are self centered.”There actually might be a hint of truth in this one. Some might disagree but, I don’t think there is anything wrong with being selfish with yourself and your time. However, the idea that it’s self centered to be single is a bit of a wild card for me. Being in a relationship, in part, is to no longer solely focus on yourself. It’s responding to another person, making sacrifices of your time, money, and life and if you aren’t ready for that it’s okay. It isn’t something you should feel guilty over. After all, choosing to be selfish with yourself is about protecting your energy and well-being.    

Lastly comes the dry arguments that go along the lines of, “You’ll grow old alone,” and “You will die alone.” A very bleak and harsh supposed pair of “truths” that the herd mentality has pushed onto the general masses. Not finding a partner within a certain time frame does not mean that you will never find a person, nor does it mean that somehow you will live a sad life. In the end, anyone who pulls this on you is using a scare tactic that is outdated and not “scary” in reality. I won’t discredit that there are times where many of us single folk have a moment where we feel like we’ll never find anyone but, the concern goes away just as quickly as it comes. In the end the future holds so much as it approaches, and when it gets here  you’ll be equipped to respond to it.

Inclosing, being single is not lonely, sad, or selfish. Being single is learning to grow within yourself, learning to be okay with yourself and above all being single is fun. There’s freedom in answering to no one but yourself. There’s power in allowing yourself to be true to you. So when the time comes where you feel ready to enter into a relationship you’ll have all the tools to make it successful. 

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